Holiday Survival Tips and Laughs

Nell Greaney


Cartoon by Grace Caravuna

Carton by Grace Caravuna

While the holidays are viewed as a carefree and fun time for all, a darker side to the festivities often goes unnoticed. With this in mind, here are some tips for surviving the overwhelming and stressful demons of the holidays. Be careful, it can get gruesome out there.
1.         Booze.Keep the liquor cabinet well stocked with a variety of alcoholic survival juice. Make this treasure trove of inebriation easily accessible to adults of age. For safety’s sake, make sure at least one friend or special someone remains sober so friends and family can laugh together and still have a designated driver to cart everyone home after festivities come to a close.
2.         Avoid conflict.A well placed “yes dear” or “whatever you say, dear” when a significant other is clawing at their temples can help diffuse a difficult situation. While attempting to lend a hand has the potential to hinder or completely derail a holiday plan of action, simply staying out of the way can save time—and, more importantly, lives.
3.         Stay low and move quickly.Have all escape routes and excuses planned out ahead of time.  Once awkward in-laws corner you in, unless you know krav maga, no one in this world will be able to help you.
4.         Distraction.Sit the kids down with a video or Netflix towards the end of the evening. This tactic ought to cause them to slow down long enough to succumb to their exhaustion. The less they run around, the easier it is to avoid an unwelcome trip to the emergency room. Honestly, when is an ER excursion ever actually welcome?
5.         Defense.Always bring protection. Riot gear is highly suggested. Or anything Teflon. Have you met your family? You never know what they might do next. Be prepared.