In an effort to foster a sex-positive environment, NEIU hosted a sex ed workshop on Thursday, Oct. 26, 2023 in the P.E. Complex. 30 students participated in this session which offered coverage of sexual health, encouraging open dialogue and a safe space for learning adult sex education devoid of any stigma or shame.
The last time an Independent reporter visited sex ed as a topic, the focus was on increasing access to contraceptives for NEIU students, which was the tip of the iceberg of sexuality. This time, however, it goes far deeper.
“The goal was to provide what sex positivity looks like in adult sex education,” said Moxy Brown, Interdisciplinary Studies Major, Pleasure-Based Sexuality Educator and Store Manager of Pleasure Chest in Chicago. Brown said the workshop was “an opportunity to be exposed to sex toys as well as safety in using sex toys and cleaning them.”
Brown focused on factual information of pleasure-based anatomy and creating an environment where attendees could explore the ins and outs of sex toys, understand their usage and learn the importance of consent.
The workshop’s inception stemmed from an invitation by Robin Heggum, MPH Academic Advisor and Instructor, who reached out to student organizations at NEIU and the Women’s Gender and Sexuality Studies Department. This collaboration facilitated an open discussion on gender roles, body positivity and sexual health. The workshop’s teaching modality blended discussion-based learning opportunities with hands-on experiences with sex toys, creating a comfortable space for attendees to participate actively and learn at their pace.
Fruitful Consenting
When it comes to communication, consent was prioritized as the most important discussed topic. According to Brown, consent must be allowed to be retracted at any time. One way to retract consent is by the use of an agreed-upon safe word. The safe word, which often is an uncommon word that is used in couples’ conversations, is used as a way for either partner to express discomfort and stop sexual activity at once. According to Brown, fruitful speaking works great for agreed-upon safe words, such as “peach,” “medlar,” “cherries” or “banana.”
The “Yes, No, Maybe” lists were introduced to empower attendees in assessing their desires and aiding effective communication and transparency with their sex partners. Attendees were empowered to say “yes” to desires, “no” to discomfort and “maybe” to exploration. Brown said the list is essential to know “how to communicate desires with a partner or even figure out desires for yourself.”
Brown elaborated and differentiated ideas to spice up romantic life in the bedroom, such as exploring foreplay and kinky options.
Examples of foreplay included cuddling, 69ing, mutual masturbation, cunnilingus, kissing, massage, using butt plugs and strap-on sex, on top of several dozens of other options shared during the workshop. Examples of kinks included but were not limited to chastity devices, enemas, bondage, choking, multiple penetration, consensual non-consent and making porn. Before proceeding, it is very essential to agree on that fruitful safe word.
Shapes and Sizes
The sex toys showcased in the workshop included masturbatory aids such as vibrators, dildos, massagers and strokers. The workshop highlighted the ins and outs of safe materials and barriers for a secure experience.
Workshop attendees were able to sort through the materials from steel to steal the show to plastics, not problems. Non-porous materials included aluminum, glass, borosilicate, silicone and stainless steel. Porous materials included acrylic and elastomer plastics, vinyl, leather and neoprene. Safety was highlighted with a talk about various barriers that may be used during sex, such as latex, nitrile, polyurethane, polyisoprene and lambskin.
Emphasizing inclusivity, Brown addressed common misconceptions about sex toys and human body compositions. Brown celebrated the diversity among choices from a diverse collection of penis models, such as those with and without foreskins and flaccid and erect penises. They come in a variety of lengths, girths and styles. According to Brown, there are too many negative beliefs, stereotypes and critiques about bodies. Regardless of how people’s bodies are represented, they are all sufficiently valuable and deserve a pleasurable, fulfilling, consensual and safe sexual experience.
Styles and Smiles
For anyone who visits an adult boutique, Brown has three main rules that visitors must follow. The first rule is to respect each other and their space. The second rule is, “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum,” said Brown, and the third rule is, “Don’t make assumptions.”
“I brought in a packer which is a tool that is used in gender affirmation for FTM or female to male transitioners, and it is representative of a flaccid penis,” said Brown. Brown emphasized that during the majority of the time, the state of a penis is flaccid, and it deserves to experience pleasure just as much as erect penises. Brown insisted that a big challenge to sexual education is to refute the misinformation about flaccid penises that people have originally learned.
To evaluate the success of the workshop, Brown often asked, “Did people understand what we said enough to want to make purchases or ask us questions afterwards?”
The success of the workshop was gauged by the embrace, engagement, smiles, laughter and newfound perspectives of all attendees. In addition, Brown shared anecdotes of individuals expressing gratitude for experiencing such discussions for the first time.
The sex ed workshop succeeded not just in imparting knowledge to students but in nurturing a culture where conversations about pleasure, consent and sexual knowledge are embraced without judgment or hesitation. Brown’s parting words were simple yet impactful to keep the vibe alive: “Stay sex positive.”
