Tuwaiq Trophy Gauntlet Match;  Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth vs. AJ Styles vs. Andrade vs. Erick Rowan vs. Bobby Lashley

Highlights

• R-Truth channels John Cena for the Five-Knuckle Shuffle
• R-Truth evades a spear from Bobby Lashley, who barrels headfirst into the turnbuckle; R-Truth pins Lashley
• Lashley attacks R-Truth after the pinfall
• R-Truth eludes Andrade’s running knee; Andrade plummets over the top turnbuckle
• R-Truth and Andrade collide; R-Truth falls onto Andrade for the pinfall
• R-Truth jumps over the top rope onto Erick Rowan
• Rowan dropkicks R-Truth into the steel steps, knocking Rowan’s cage to the ground
• Rowan is disqualified after striking R-Truth with the steel steps; Rowan attacks R-Truth after the bell
• AJ Styles submits R-Truth with the Calf Crusher
• The OC attacks Rey Mysterio backstage
• The Undertaker takes Mysterio’s place, chokeslams AJ Styles and wins the “prestigious” Tuwaiq Mountain Trophy

Result

The Undertaker pins AJ Styles to win the Tuwaiq Mountain Trophy

Grade: F

Analysis

This match was more angle than contest. WWE offered a clumsy tease at R-Truth running the gauntlet, but it came off as a lazy attempt to recycle the same format that once worked for Seth Rollins and Kofi Kingston.

Lashley and Andrade were regarded as afterthoughts, while Rowan served as an instrument to enhance an uninteresting underdog narrative. A triple threat match between the three for Andrade’s United States Title would have been more beneficial for all three competitors.

By the time the Undertaker entered the match, the outcome was predictable. With the rumor mills projecting Styles as the Undertaker’s next Wrestlemania opponent, booking ‘Taker to squash Styles with minimal effort makes little sense, even from an angle advancement perspective. But the Saudi Arabia pay-per-views have become notorious for WWE relaxing their standards and abandoning booking protocol, so nothing really comes as a surprise.

WWE Smackdown Championship; The New Day vs. The Miz and John Morrison

Highlights

• Morrison levels Big E with a corkscrew plancha
• Big E and Kingston combine for a powerbomb-top-rope double stomp combination on Morrison
• Morrison misses Starship Pain
• The New Day hit the Big Ending; pin broken up by the Miz
• Kingston lands hard on the outside padding after missing an over the top plancha
• the Miz executes the Skull Crushing Finale; Big E kicks out at two
• Morrison hits Kingston with a steel chair; the Miz rolls up Kingston to win the Smackdown Tag Team Championships

Result

The Miz and John Morrison defeat the New Day to win the Smackdown Tag Team Championships

Grade: B-

Analysis

While the match had its moments, it somewhat underwhelmed considering the talent involved. Nevertheless, both teams executed innovative tag team maneuvers to go along with  some disconcertingly dangerous spots–Kingston landing hard on the outside of the ring springs to the forefront of the mind.

Morrison’s return has felt strange. While he’s positioned as a pillar of Smackdown, Morrison feels wasted in the midcard. Both the Miz and Morrison have matured beyond their mid-2000s gimmick, so each of them reverting to seasoned versions of past immaturity feels inorganic.

Going forward, the Miz and Morrison are tasked with reinvigorating a stagnant Smackdown tag team. Hopefully an inevitable rivalry with the Usos will steal a show or two.

Angel Garza vs. Humberto Carrillo

Highlights

• Garza counters a flying cross body with a dropkick to the midsection
• Carrillo botches a Canadian Destroyer
• Garza traps Carrillo in a pinning predicament for the three-count

Result

Garza defeats Carrillo via pinfall

Grade: C-

Analysis

Crowd apathy defined this contest. Once again, the performers put forth a resilient effort to coax investment from the Saudi crowd, but were met with relative indifference.

WWE reusing the same finish three days after the initial result is perplexing. While the chemistry between Carrillo and Garza isn’t on par with that of Mysterio and Andrade, these two guys can flat out go in the ring. Barring Garza adopting indecisive finishes into his gimmick, WWE would be wise to abandon the inconclusive pinfall going forward.

WWE might also want to explore recycling the foes-turned-friends path that worked for Sheamus and Cesaro. While both Garza and Carrillo are incredibly talented in-ring performers, neither are interesting enough to warrant an extended singles push. Turning them into the high-flying luchador tag team the Lucha House Party was supposed to be would do both competitors favors while exponentially boosting the quality of the Raw tag team division.

Raw Tag Team Championships; Seth Rollins and Buddy Murphy (c) vs. The Street Profits

Highlights

• Montez Ford uses Angelo Dawkins as extra leverage for a modified Salida Del Sol
• Ford hits a Frog Splash on Rollins; Murphy breaks up the count
• Dawkins launches Murphy over the announce table
• The Street Profits counter a double Pedigree attempt into a double DDT
• Murphy and Rollins catch Ford as he attempts an over-the-top-rope senton before driving him into the barricade
• Rollins hits a Curb Stomp on the ring apron; Murphy pins Dawkins to retain the Raw Tag Team Titles

Result

Murphy and Rollins defeat the Street Profits via pinfall to retain the Raw Team Team Championships

Grade: B

Analysis

This was a fun sprint of a match. However, what should have developed into a memorable showcase for both the Street Profits and Rollins and Murphy instead morphed into an abbreviated affair.

The Street Profits are stuck in limbo. After a scorching start to their main roster run, the duo have been relegated in favor of makeshift tag teams.

Nevertheless, Ford continues to exhibit his rare charisma and freakish athletic ability. Similar to Big Cass, it wouldn’t be too surprising if WWE uses the Street Profits as a launching pad for Ford absent of an actual tag team title reign.

Rollins and Murphy are a premier in-ring duo. “WWE’s Best Kept Secret” continues to cash in on the scarce opportunities afforded to him, so him making the most out of his alliance with the “Monday Night Messiah” comes as no surprise. However, it feels as though the tag titles would be better suited for stablemates AOP, liberating both Rollins and Murphy to advance as singles performers.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Mansoor

Highlights

• Bobby Roode gets ejected prior to the bell
• Mansoor executes an over-the-top-rope, corkscrew neckbreaker
• Ziggler hits a Zig Zag;  Mansoor kicks out at two
• Mansoor lands an inverted Sliced Bread into a modified DDT
• Mansoor executes a Moonsault, driving his knees into Ziggler’s ribs for the pinfall

Result

Mansoor defeats Ziggler

Grade: B-

Analysis

Mansoor’s inclusion in each of WWE’s Saudi efforts is shameless tokenism. Nevertheless, the Saudi Arabian crowd eats up his appearances and post-match promos, the latter which are saturated with pandering and cheap pops.

With that said, Mansoor’s in-ring performances are electric. His unorthodox offense offers jaded viewers a unique experience while unfamiliarity presents a nice underdog story.

Similar to Garza and Carrillo, Mansoor doesn’t have the stature, in-ring prowess or charisma to embark on a successful singles run in the immediate future. However, an alliance with a competitor like Ali–whose look and in-ring style is compatible with Mansoor’s–would make for exhilarating television.’

WWE Championship; Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Ricochet

Highlights

• None

Result

Lesnar defeats Ricochet via pinfall to retain the WWE Championship

Grade: F

Analysis

WWE continues to present its main roster as a collection of amateur fighters jockeying to contest its token “real” combat athlete. Presenting Lesnar as an impenetrable force against premier athletes like Ricochet is simply counterproductive, stunting the maturation of a superstar who could feasibly drive WWE’s next generation.

Furthermore, booking this “contest” was a cheap attempt to appease Saudi Arabian leadership at the expense of one of WWE’s most promising superstars. A shameful exhibition all around.

If I were AEW, I’d be on the phone with Ricochet .2 seconds after the bell.

Steel Cage Match; Roman Reigns vs. Baron Corbin

Highlights

• Reigns and Corbin trade blows atop the steel cage
• Reigns lands a Superman Punch with a chain wrapped around his fist; Reigns pins Corbin

Result

Reigns defeats Corbin via pinfall

Grade: F

Analysis

A slow, plodding conclusion to what seemed like an indefinite rivalry.

WWE opting to  extend this feud beyond the Royal Rumble despite a conclusive finish is indefensible.  Reigns still garners polite support while Corbin isn’t either detestable or likeable–he’s kind of just there, albeit in the peskiest way possible.

Michael Cole incessantly suggesting that Reigns-Corbin is a classic rivalry added comedic relief to an otherwise nondescript affair.  A steel cage absent of high spots, intensity or even an impassioned performance makes for a toothless contest, an indictment on both WWE Creative’s inability to manufacture new feuds and the ability to Corbin and Reigns to engender crowd support.

Moving on from this feud would benefit all parties.

Smackdown Women’s Championship; Bayley (c) vs. Naomi

• The Saudi Arabian crowd boos both competitors during introductions
• Naomi executes a corkscrew plancha to the outside of the ring
• Bayley plants Naomi with a Bayley-to-Belly; Naomi kicks out at two
• Bayley hits a Texas Shoehorn-facebuster combo for the victory

Result

Bayley defeats Naomi to retain the Smackdown Women’s Championship

Grade: C+

Analysis

Kudos to the women for their valiant effort, but it’s reprehensible that WWE continues to visit a country that censors women. Cultural relativism and literacy aside, forcing Naomi and Bayley to completely cover their bodies as the men wrestle shirtless is a gross injustice that violates every American value.

With that said, Bayley and Naomi tried their best to liven a dead crowd. While there was a smattering of audible “this is awesome” chants, they were muted out by near-deafening silence.

The outcome was never in doubt, with Bayley marching toward her inevitable Wrestlemania clash against Sasha Banks. And that’s fine, because while Naomi is an incredibly capable performer, her character has always felt like an outlier on the main roster. She’s fun, but not likable enough as a face to generate sympathy. At the same time, her in-ring arsenal is incompatible with a potential heel turn.

Meanwhile, Bayley’s entire title run has been an overshadowed by her Raw counterpart. The problem isn’t Bayley’s character–her heel turn was both fantastic and long overdue–but rather her in-ring performances. She’s boring. No amount of pomp or flair will make up for middling wrestling.

WWE Universal Title; “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Goldberg

Highlights

• Goldberg spears Wyatt; Wyatt kicks out at one
• The champion applies the Mandible Claw; Goldberg counters with three spears; Wyatt kicks out at two
• Goldberg plants Wyatt with a Jackhammer to win the Universal Championship

Result

Goldberg defeats Wyatt to win the Universal Championship

Grade: F

Analysis

This was a burial.

Make no mistake about it, this is why WWE can’t create new stars. Goldberg coming back and squashing one of WWE’s hottest acts is the equivalent of Bruno Sammartino coming back and embarrassing Stone Cold Steve Austin or the Undertaker during the Attitude Era.

Super Showdown saw Wyatt execute no offense and retreat to the back as Goldberg stood tall on the ring apron. Why WWE insists on inviting old-timers who can’t wrestle beyond five minutes to headline their biggest event of the year is beyond me. Then again, when is the last time Wrestlemania had a show-stealing match?

Expect another subpar Wrestlemania built on a foundation of name recognition rather than match quality. And that’s not a prediction, it’s a spoiler.